What have I gotten myself into?

So, the previous post was about the delight of teaching small children, but this one is about the other side of it.

I was in another school for the same time of assignment, covering 40 minute blocks for other teachers and I had a kindergarten class in the library.

It is interesting watching how small children interact. I was short one proper seat at a table, so I got one child to sit at a coffee type table on the floor. Well, some how the last place I'd want to be sitting became the special place to sit and I had bit of conflict between children as several begged to also be permitted to have the special seating arrangement.

So, I ended up with about 4 of them on the floor around the coffee table. Well, I'm new at this and how was I to know that 5-year-old children working with felt pens make craters in their paper that go through the paper and dye coffee tables? And furthermore, how was I to know that Mr. Crater creator was not the most co-operative 5-year-old? He wasn't receptive to moving back to the more child-resistant tables. He wasn't receptive to allowing me to put something under his work to save dyeing the the table. He wasn't receptive to instructions on how to not make holes in his paper.

I have this theory about time. It really isn't constant like people commonly believe. I swear, that 5 minutes working with that child took an hour or more to get through. Time absolutely expanded as I watched each second go by until I could get these guys to pack up and head back to their classroom.

Finally it was time. Two of my little angels did not want to clean up and how was I to know that firmly telling them they needed to clean up was the wrong thing to do? So, in corner one we had a child lying on his back, legs and arms waving wildly in the air, screaming at the top of his lungs, and in corner two we had a matching companion. Way, way , way more expansion of time happening here, and if you'd been there, you would know that I do not lie about this time expansion thing. In this case, a minute feels like a day.

How was I to know that to get 5-year-olds to clean up you have to play vacuum cleaner?

The Set Up

I do teacher-on-call work and I've been doing it for some time. I was on this one day assignment where I was finding the class exceptionally challenging. Anyway, kids try a lot of different things, but the plan these two came up with, well, what a set-up.

These two teenage boys, about 15, were planning something. I could tell the way they were kind of huddled and glancing at me to see what I was doing. My radar was up, I needed to watch those two.

So, the one asks if he can go to the washroom. I'm still wondering what they are up to, but I let him go. Well, he pulls his shirt up so it isn't covering his butt and starts doing this wiggly dance on his way out. I'm watching him closely, thinking, "what the heck is he up to?" And the wiggly dance thing, wiggle the butt as much as you can kind of dance, continues as he leaves the classroom.

I look back at his friend, still wondering what they are up to, and out of his mouth comes, "Mrs. W., shame on you, I saw you watching. I saw you watching his bum, shame on you Mrs. W."

Well, I swear, I've never been so grateful for an out of control class in my life. The saving grace was that the class was so out of control, they missed the prank.